o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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