Pappa wants mamma naked
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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