so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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