Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
