ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
