I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Verdict: uncircumcised.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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