I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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