she looked like the before picture.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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