if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize