Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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