I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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