I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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