Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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