weddingsv make me drug and hornr
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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