Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he shaved USA in his pubs
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
