I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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