I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
