"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize