Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he just fucked me for my cheese..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
