he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
