Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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