Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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