Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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