What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
