This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize