i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
