I will die if light touches me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
