Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
pray to the hookup gods
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize