bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we made out on top of his cat.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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