still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
