He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
