Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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