i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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