yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
