He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
