...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
