What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
