i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
