One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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