i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
