Welp...herpes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
