I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
love makes seman taste better
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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