this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
