yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want to make out with him forever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
