i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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