yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
