You're completely useless in the revolution.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
