No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just sucked dick on a ferry
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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