i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
