I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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