Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
