so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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