His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
