how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize