When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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