this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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