We're facebook friends in real life
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
