11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
