It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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