Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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