I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
